Economy – Sep 9, 2013 – Dear Minister Chiarelli…

Dear Minister Chiarelli…

 Monday, September 9, 2013

[Tongue in Cheek Letter]

The Honourable Bob Chiarelli, Minister of Energy,

Dear Minister Chiarelli:

It has come to my attention that the Independent Electricity System Operator will start paying industrial wind developers for not producing any electricity, starting on September 11, 2013.  I understand that they could possibly receive as much as $200,000 per megawatt of installed power for not producing that electricity.

 This leads me to believe that I could also be persuaded to not produce any electricity in order to obtain the benefits of that program.  I would start small and perhaps not produce electricity for say 2 megawatts, which would mean a payment of $400,000 per year. In a few years I could expand and not produce electricity for, say, 10 megawatts.

I understand that IESO put up meteorological stations to determine what electricity is not produced and that these stations are also paid for by them.  I would be delighted to have IESO put up a station to measure what I will not produce.   In fact, it seems to be fruitless to actually put up any wind turbines if I am paid for not producing electricity so perhaps we could agree to skip the process of obtaining a Renewable Energy Approval—it just takes up too much time for that other Ministry. Another benefit of the latter is that the wind turbines I would not put up would not kill any birds or bats, thereby saving money that would have gone to paying someone to collect the carcasses.  I trust you will find merit in this suggestion and hope that you agree.  It has the added benefit of stopping those pesky naturalists from complaining.

  In studying the electricity system I see that those industrial wind turbines that will be paid for not producing electricity will be backed up by gas plants who will also be paid for not producing electricity.

In a couple of years I would also like to apply for some of the money that I could be paid for, say, a small gas plant generator of 10 megawatts that would not produce electricity.  That payment of around $1.8 million a year would allow me to expand my non-producing industrial wind turbine production by perhaps as much as another 100 megawatts.

  I certainly applaud the efforts of your ministry to not produce electricity and am sure that those efforts will be endorsed by the Environment Commissioner, Mr. Miller, as he is adamant that he wants us to conserve energy: what better way to do that than not produce it!

  No doubt there are many companies and businesses throughout the Province that are supportive of your efforts to pay for not producing electricity and many among them are those large and small solar generators who will also (we understand) be paid for not producing electricity.   At this juncture I do not plan to get into the business of not producing electricity from solar panels but will consider it for the future.  Any information that you can send me on that program would however be appreciated as I have other family members who are considering getting into solar panels so they can also be paid for not producing any electricity.

I look forward to doing business with your Ministry by not producing electricity.

Yours truly,

Parker Gallant

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